Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
