It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
