i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
