its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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