I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
