What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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