Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
