How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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