Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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