We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
third nipple confirmed
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
