Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize