Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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