Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You have to summon your inner elephant
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
