ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
