Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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