She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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