he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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