If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
