it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I still have a little drunk in my system
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Randomize
