Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
