I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
