i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
