plz talk dirty to me
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
