They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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