she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
