she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
