I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
