If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
