yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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