he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
