This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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