Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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