i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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