God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
