bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
