MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
