was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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