i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
