i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
