I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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