Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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