every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
