I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
babies were throwing up all over the place
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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