i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I want a musical about memes.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
