i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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