Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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