dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
