He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
