...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
