you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
