My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
