anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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