WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
