I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
