allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
