I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
