I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Pants are for mortals
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
