I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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