That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
We are all done wearing pants today
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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