I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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