you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
And then my night got REAL pukey
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
