i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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