I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
