Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
