yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
of course. lets lasso hookers.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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