my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
