hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
