He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
