I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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