My nipple is on Facebook.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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