This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
