How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
